DOGS OF THE PELOTON
DOGS OF THE PELOTON
DOGS OF THE PELOTON
Luka Greylic
GENERAL CLASSIFICATION
Luka has been gifted all the physical attributes you could ask for. His VO2 Max is upwards of 80. When he rides his body is as still as a swan above water while his long muscled legs spin fluidly like twirling cheerleader batons. Such beauty. Every minute of Lukas life is spent in the pursuit of perfection. Luka sleeps in an air-sealed room with an oxygen scrubber running flat out so every sleeping breath is a struggle.
During Grand Tour season he weighs his shorts, removing unnecessary threads. He hollows out
the polystyrene in his helmet to make sure there is no excess material. His fillings are made out
of carbon fibre to save weight. During Off Season… THERE IS NO OFF SEASON. THERE IS ONLY MORE TRAINING
If there was an Earthquake Luka would first secure his training bike then his young family. Avoiding publicity and doing the bare minimum of contractually required appearances, he trains high in the Slovenian mountains for much of the year riding solo miles behind a motorcycle for hours on end. Luka is a DS’s dream. He wants victory more than anything in the world. A place in the history books beckon.
But don’t ask him about anything that isn’t Grand Tour Cycling.
He has no idea where China is.
What a vacuum cleaner is for.
He has never been swimming,
Nor does he believe in the existence of wild fish
he has never queued, nor written a letter.
He thinks Wattopia is a real country
He believes rugs were invented solely so turbo trainers are quieter in the middle of the night.
If you were to ask him how he is feeling he might answer: VO2 Max 87, W/KG 6.9 Haemetocrit: 48 Form 115 Fitness 171, Fatigue 143 Fat 3.4% resting HR 24 FTP 445.